Monday, February 11, 2008

Dear Genius...

Bitter Amanda,
I was having trouble getting work done today. I needed some motivation. And I realized what the best motivation EVER would be: a sex kitten. Someone who would reward me with sexual favors when I was productive and got shit done. Not someone to have a relationship with, just a cute piece of ass who is strong-willed and won't put out until all the work is done.
Where can I find one of these?
~Seeking Motivation

Dear Genius,
Holy damn is that a good idea. (And you know I hate to admit other people are smarter than me!)
I mean, it sounds a bit like prostitution at first glance. In the Julia Roberts Pretty Woman sort of way. But I don't think your average whore works the way you've described. So it's really more like a friends-with-benefits thing.
Since there are no matchmaking services for this sort of thing...(Colleges and universities everywhere should have postings like this, similar to a ride board. (HA!) Pairing you up with other like-minded, strong-willed individuals. You'd monitor each other's progress and stay on track.) I suggest you ask around. Perhaps you have some friends you wouldn't mind sleeping with?
See what you can do, and keep me posted. I love to hear about non-relationships!
Solitarily yours,
Bitter Amanda

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