I recently had a boy ask me if we wanted to take things to the next step - by which he meant becoming a couple.
He did this by text message. Is this normal? It seems to me a conversation about couplehood should take place in person. Kinda like not dumping someone via text - you shouldn't start a relationship via text either.
Am I just old fashioned? Is this the new norm? If so - I object. Whats next? Sex via text? Like that will ever work.
Grow a Pair and Ask Me in Person
Dear Old Fashioned,
Unfortunately, the spreading of good news in a digital format seems to be gaining momentum as an appropriate method. I do not agree with this. I don't understand why my best friend should find out my news at the same time as my dentist. However, it's happening anyway.
As far as I'm concerned, a boy texting you about taking your relationship to the next level? Is only appropriate if your relationship up to that point has been a texting and/or internet relationship. Using this scale, I would assume he's ready to start having phone conversations? That's sweet.
Buuuuut....if your relationship has been a standard issue texting/phone/date/face-to-face conversation sort of thing? Then it's completely ridiculous. Texting isn't the way to move things along in the relationship department! It's just plain lazy! I cannot believe the extent of this epidemic.
Where did we go wrong? I suspect this has been snowballing for some time. First we accepted flirting via text, and then we decided it was acceptable to ask someone out and before you can type "brb" we'll be reading on facebook about that time our friends got engaged when he typed "Will u marry me? y/n" into his iPhone and she responded with a y-smiley face combo. We can't let this happen! I won't stand for it--and neither should you.
Stay strong, Old Fashioned. You're not wrong. He needs to man up and have The Talk in person.
PS: Sex via text will never happen? Seriously? I'm going to pretend I never saw that. You're going to immediately google Tiger Woods and learn about his failed marriage. *ba
I'm having some trouble with something. I'm out in the world, traveling, seeing some great things, experiencing new cultures, getting to do things that most people won't be able to do or simply can't do. Soon, I'm going to have to decide if I want it to end and return to the good old USA, or just keep going around the world - Italy, Germany, China, Japan, Taiwan...
The thing is, back in the states the economy sucks, there are no jobs that are available that I find appealing, and America is... not as interesting as the rest of the world. However, America has my friends, my computer, access to the Americana I miss, and my dog. I'm addicted to traveling the world but I'm wondering how long I can do that before I realize I'm missing out on family and friends, becoming the person "who is never there". Do I want to be that person? Or do I want to just keep going so one day, right before I die, I can smile and think, "I did that, and I never said no."
What's your take on all of this?
Dear Phil Connors,
This is rather timely, as I've recently been consulting with my partner-in-crime on a similar topic. It's a "curse" faced by many first world 20-somethings. "Should I find a stable job or travel the world the find myself?" Let's face it--there isn't a bad option here. You could travel the world and see awesome things and have life experiences fit to brag about in old age. Or you could go home to the dog who loves you and the people who matter and also have life experiences fit to brag about in old age. That's actually an awesome problem to have, if you think about it. Life could be a lot worse.
You're looking at this choice as a permanent one...it's quite limiting, don't you think? There's nothing to say you can't travel for a while longer and then return to America, or for that matter return to America and head out for adventures later.
As long as you have the resources to support it, you're in a great position to be flexible here. This is not the decision to stress about. Stop whining.