Dear Bill Murray...

Dear Bitter Amanda,

There's this totally dreamy boy who has told mutual friends that he's in an "open relationship" with a chick out west. That being said, the aforementioned dreamboat is sending some unmistakable signals. I, for one, do not want to get my hopes up for someone who is in a relationship, er, excuse me, I mean "open relationship"... but what exactly does this "open relationship" thing mean!?!?

Lost in Translation


Dear Bill Murray,
It means he can physically cheat on his far-away girlfriend but if it turns emotional she'll get pissed. At least, that's my general take on the subject. I can't say I know of any open relationships that work out well, but hey, I could be wrong. So, if you're involving your hopes, I'd stay away. Because even if he does make it past your Neanderthal Radar, if you get close and his western lady hears him talking about some girl named Bill he hangs out with, she'll get jealous and go crazy and then he'll have to decide if he wants to be with her or you or no one. And regardless of the decision, you won't like it.
Solitarily yours,
Bitter Amanda