Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Dear Grammar Check...

Dear Bitter Amanda,

What does the phrase "My girlfriend used to be from around D.C." mean?

I know a boy who has a talent of referring to his girlfriend in the past and present tense in the same sentence. Yes I could ask, but I feel odd as we've known each other long enough that it's generally assumed that I know his relationship status. I wanna know if I can tap that without getting anyone in trouble.

Syntax Error

Dear Grammar Check, a conundrum. One can't change where they are I can see where you're confused. The way I see it, there are three possible reasons for this kind of lazy sentence structure.
1. He is no longer with this mystery girl from the District. However, I would be hesitant to get involved in any tapping. If he refers to her often enough for you to see a pattern, there are still feelings there. The term "ex-girlfriend" needs to become a part of his vocabulary.
2. He is currently in this relationship and does not know how to string together a coherent sentence. This is problematic because...well, because I am a snob about the men I associate with and I think everyone should be. Particularly when it comes to men you're thinking of making out with. (Or women! This is an equal-opportunity statement, readers.) It is also problematic for you because it would mean he is, in fact, taken.
3. He is currently in this relationship but likes to maintain a veil of mystery about it. This third option is the most troubling. I know not everyone likes to publicize the details of their relationship...and that's awesome. But those people who are vague and tiptoe around the subject? That's just sketchy. Sure, maybe this guy isn't being vague on purpose. But to me, it kicks up a little red flag. Maybe a little, "I'm open to other things" flag, or perhaps just an "I'm a shitty boyfriend" flag. Either way, this option renders him a common douchebag and not worthy of your time.
Admittedly, not great options. Better to look for someone who paid attention in the 4th grade.
Solitarily yours,
Bitter Amanda