Monday, October 15, 2012

Dear Girl...

Dear Bitter Amanda,

A good friend of mine recently moved away. I'm fairly certain he won't keep in touch with me because he's a StupidBoy™. This makes me sad. Any advice?

-Wendy Moira Angela Darling

Dear Girl,
Many boys are horrible when it comes to maintaining long-distance contact. (Many people in general are horrible at this, but that's not your question.) There are multiple enigmatic men like this in my life--when they show up, you are the center of their attention and you remember All The Reasons You Are Friends. But they often don't show up and don't return phone calls and you just kind of stop worrying. You send texts and figure they'll end up in the void but at least you tried.
I like to make a lot of effort early on and then when I finally get ahold of them, make them feel guilty for not returning my love and affection. It's a time-honored tradition. I've got a pretty good return rate on those guilt trips.
Unless...nagging isn't your style? (I don't understand this.) I guess you could go the way of emails and Facebook messages. Friendship is a two-way street, though, so be sure to take care of yourself. If you feel like you're the only one it in, there's no rule saying you have to stay friends with everyone forever. Let him have his adventures with Tinkerbell, the slut. You deserve better. 
(There's also the possibility that your friendship will fade into an annual hookup, so, you know...there's always that. ...Just me? Anyone? Oh. OVERSHARE MONDAY.)
Solitarily yours,
Bitter Amanda

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