Dear Gross...

Bitter Amanda,
I don't know what to do. I'm concerned about a friend. I hadn't had a chance to speak to her for a while, so decided to read her blog to see what was going on in her life.
She had an entry about photographing, scrutinizing, and making a flipbook of insect porn! She saw two flies going at it and documented the entire thing on film.
She's not an entomologist, and she's never showed an affiliation for bugs before. And clearly, no one sane (who doesn't study bugs for a living) would want to closely observe the mating habits of flies.
I think she needs some professional help. How should I approach her about this?
~Grossed Out


Dear Gross,
Oh, you're hilarious. I notice you sent this during office hours. Is this what you're getting paid to do? Does your boss know about it? Shouldn't you be doing something productive, instead of just being annoying and getting older? (Oh yes, I went there. You're old.)
Solitarily yours,
Bitter Amanda