Dear Venus...

Dear Bitter Amanda,
Why are boys so lame? I could probably break this question into about three or four hundred others, but honestly they all seem to stem from this one small truth.
Hoping you have some wisdom on the matter,
Definitively from Venus


Dear Venus,
You're damn right it's the truth. Dealing with a boy is like dealing with a toddler who has his own cell phone.
I can figure out their thinking, but it's not sane or logical. It's stupid.
Here's the problem: they don't think so. They are under the impression that everything they do is simple and rational. (What folly!) So they make a simple statement, and we think they can't possibly be that stupid. We search for deeper meanings, coming up either angry or empty-handed and then angry--of course. Why? There are no deeper meanings! (That we continue to look for them drives men crazy.) But we keep looking because we say to ourselves, "Well that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard! He must have meant it some other way."
Pumpkin, I hate to break this to you, but I have to: if I had a definitive answer for your question, I'd have figured out a way to make millions. We're different, and men are wired for lame. That's about as close as I've come to an answer.
Solitarily yours,
Bitter Amanda