Friday, September 03, 2010

Dear Secret Decoder Ring...

I had a (recently single) male coworker tell me "You smell nice." Which took me off guard, because I wasn't trying to smell nice. I had showered the night before, was wearing clean clothes, and remembered deodorant that morning. So I don't think I was smelling bad... but there was no reason for me to "smell nice."
So here are the options:
1. I mysteriously started to smell awesome, which he kindly pointed out.
2. The coworker at the desk next to me smelled good, which was mistakenly attributed to me. In which case, he thought I smelled like a dude. Which would be weird. Since I'm a girl.
3. I work in gross places, so wouldn't be surprised if I get back to the office and smell like cat piss sometimes. Maybe he was pointing out "you smell nicer than your normally-foul just-got-back-from-the-
landfill" stench.
4. He was looking for a way to give a compliment... and what girl doesn't want to hear she smells nice?
So lets assume its a combination of 1 and 4. Did I fuck things up if, instead of just accepting the compliment, I stated "I don't think that's me. I'm not trying to smell nice." Because that's what I did. Which turned out to be an awkward thing to say. Do boys normally say things like that if they aren't interested in a girl? If I was trying to smell nice I'd probably just think "yay someone noticed!". But I wasn't, so I'm confused.
Am I overthinking this?
BitterAmanda I don't know whats going on! How do boys minds work? What was he really trying to say?! Please help decipher!
Smells like a Rose?

Dear Secret Decoder Ring,
Yes, you are overthinking this. That you've worked yourself into a letter-writing frenzy over whether or not a boy thinks you really smell nice? Means you are clearly overthinking this.
Boy minds? Work pretty much the way they appear. Generally speaking, the things they say are basically what they mean. Or a misguided lie, when they've royally screwed things up. So unless you've had a huge fight with this coworker recently and he's doing his best to make things better, then he probably meant "You smell nice." It's that simple. I've written before about the perils of decoding the words of men...they just don't operate the same way we do. Which, despite being a constant source of anxiety for many overthinking women, at least gives us something to talk about with our friends, I suppose.
That being said, I think it's safe to say that you just straight up smelled good. (This could mean that you smelled good on a normal scale, or that you smelled good in a non-animal urine kind of way. It's an odd scale to use, sure, but you never know.)
However. That he chose to voice this opinion is another matter entirely. There's the distinct possibility that he was attempting to flirt with you. And if that's true, that is awesome. Wanna know why? Because if you weren't trying to smell good and he still thinks you do? You would literally have to put in ZERO EXTRA EFFORT to continue impressing this boy! If you're into him and things progress? You can start wearing your sweats around him so much sooner than the average relationship.
You'd be living the dream, Rose.
Oh, and I would guess you didn't totally screw things up by blowing off a compliment. Fixable, for sure. (I mean, this is a boy we're dealing with here.) And if he was totally offended by your remark? Well whatever, he was probably talking about the guy at the next desk anyway.
Solitarily yours,
Bitter Amanda

No comments: