Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Dear Love Bites...

Dear Bitter Amanda,

1) How do you get rid of a hickey?
2) How do you seek vengeance after the culprit has run away like a coward?

I hear you are an expert in such matters.


Dear Love Bites,
Sorry it's taken me a couple days to get back to you. I was really busy laughing. As luck would have it, I do know a thing or two about hickeys! 
1. A little ice, a little concealer, and a little prayer of thanks that scarves are popular right now. 
2. Depends on why you're seeking vengeance. Are you mad because he marked you or because he abandoned you? If it's the former, then revenge is your course of action. Let me tell you--bruised and purple lips (and not from a Chris Brown...I'm talking about purple lips acquired in a good way) are not only super hard to cover up, but much harder for men to handle. (Here, this lip gloss should cover it nicely OH WAIT.) If it's the latter...then call him out on it. Tell your would-be vampire that at least Edward Cullen had the decency to politely stalk Bella. 
Solitarily yours,
Bitter Amanda

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