Dear Bitter Amanda,
I found a bar of dark chocolate a the bottom of a paper grocery bag that I was going to use for recycling. Not only did I find unexpected chocolate, I saved it from certain recycled doom! Hurray for me! I am a hero!
Dear Chocolate Guardian,
You, my friend, are most certainly a hero. This is worthy of the highest of praise. I could not be more proud. (Well...I mean I probably could but I don't have the time to think of another scenario, so let's let you have you moment in the sun. It's Friday and I'm feeling generous. Anyway, back to you, Champ!)
You've done the world a favor. Actually, two, you little recycler you! Which is probably why the universe rewarded you with some bonus dark chocolate. Karma can be a beautiful thing.