Monday, February 25, 2013

Dear Suburban Supervisor...

Dear Bitter Amanda,

Does this count as an early mid-life crisis?

I can't leave my husband-to-be unsupervised. I just got home from a three day weekend visiting family with my mom and I came home to find that he bought a hands free step machine, two (2) 3-lbs. hand weights, an Xbox 360 with a Kinect sensor, and an iPhone 5. The reason? He "broke up" with his gym and decided to make his own "gym" at home. He already has a punching bag downstairs from a Black Friday shopping spree and has used the step thing and hand weights while watching football this weekend (Wish I was home to see that!). Why the iPhone? 1.) He is jealous if mine, and 2.) He found an app that counts his squats. Apparently this makes it gym equipment.

My question for you, Bitter Amanda, is should I be angry or concerned about my fiancée's impulsive buys? I'm secretly a little excited to use the Xbox, and am still laughing too much to be objective.

Bewildered in the Suburbs

Dear Suburban Supervisor,
I'm assuming that the money was not a problem here. It sounds like you're not desperately concerned about him spending it, which would have led to an entirely different response. 

So. Is this an early mid-life crisis? Let's...go with yes. For selfish reasons. First of all, his shopping spree is focused on taking care of himself, so that could be a lot worse. He's not a cliched balding guy in a yellow convertible, looking straight up ridiculous. He isn't trying out skinny jeans like all the young guys in his office. An iPhone is pretty good, considering. 
Second of all, he's getting this out of the way early! If this is, in fact, a mid-life (or quarter-life, or third-life, or whatever fraction) crisis, you can just cross it off the list. It's done. Before you're even married. Awesome! 

I think you're good with laughing and enjoying the fruits of his crisis. When the day comes that he announces that you should both quit your jobs, sell your house, and move to Spain because a life of leisure is really what we need!, just remind him that he used his Mid-Life Crisis card already, then you decide where you're moving. 
Solitarily yours,
Bitter Amanda

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