Tuesday, May 06, 2014

Dear Not Even Close...

Dear Bitter Amanda,

I know you're not an iPerson but what do you think of this app for couples?

Sincerely,
Do You Want To Do This With Me Y/N?

You&Me - Messaging for Couples by HowAboutWe
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/you-me-messaging-for-couples/id864197890?mt=8



Dear Not Even Close,

No. No no no. This is not ok. Your email subject line, "Gone too far?" is very appropriate, except I'm telling, not asking. This has indeed gone too far. Couples, do you just have to have EVERYTHING? 

I was going to say that this is a good thing, since maybe it would keep some of your couple bullshit out of my face. However, I have a sinking feeling that the type of couple to use a Secret Message in a Bottle, No Singles Allowed app is the type of couple who will still make public declarations to each other on facebook and it will still show up on my newsfeed and leave me to wonder what gross sappy nonsense is possibly left to share in your Super Secret Couple App. 

Even technology has turned against being single. I hate everything. 
Solitarily yours,
Bitter Amanda

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