Sunday, October 24, 2010

Dear Patsy Cline...

A friend was telling me how one of her guy friends (Matt*) repeatedly asks her "Hey, do you want to have sex?" since both of them are single. And she always replies no, and has informed him she will always say no. But he continues to ask every now and then. And I pointed out "the worst thing that can happen is you say no. If you don't say no, that means you say yes and he gets laid. It can't hurt for him to ask."
Then we were talking about how its been awhile since I've gotten any action. And she suggested I try the Matt* Method! Just ask someone single "Hey, do you want to have sex?"
I'm kinda thinking about it. If I ask in a half/joking, half/not-joking way I can get laid if they say yes, and pass it off as 'just-joking' if they say no.
Have I gone crazy?
~Just Askin'
*Name changed to protect Paul's actual identity

Dear Patsy Cline,
Yeah, you sort of have.

Not that I don't applaud your out-of-the-box thinking or your determination to keep romance out of this equation. However, I would hardly say the worst case scenario here is a negative response. It's a positive response--to a test at the doctor's office. You have no idea what kind of grossness a random single dude may or may not have. A lady** has to be cautious about who she sleeps with! I'm not saying you shouldn't have sex--go for it, have a good time--but I'm saying there should be a bit more of a screening process before you vacate your undies. Just like, you know, two or three additional questions.
Thanks for checking in on that one.
Solitarily yours,
Bitter Amanda

**Or really anybody.

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