Dear Bitter Amanda,
My date and I had a really good time, and he was really awesome, and I really thought that we had a connection, and if we had children they would definitely have blue eyes and their last name would be "Harrison", which I think is really nice. BUT, he hasn't called me back yet, and it's been six months. What should I do? I've tried setting up a tent outside of his window, but I got arrested! Any advice?
-The Hopeful Mrs. Harrison
Or rather, "hopeless." It's not you--I promise! It never is. Here's the thing: if my date set up camp at my house to get my attention, my black, bitter heart would have actually beat. I kid you not. What's important to remember in this scenario is that he's a man and therefore bound to a. suck at life, and b. be an asshole. My advice to you is cut your losses. You're too hot to wait around for him.